It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
