Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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