He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
