This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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