Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize