Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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