Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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