apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize