We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
