why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
