remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
