Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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