The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
