Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
