Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
