Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
