Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize