There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
