They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
