ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
