can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
