It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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