I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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