I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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