you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
