I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
