you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
