i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
