playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
