Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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