A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize