There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I am one with the molecules
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
