do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i think my mom watched the whole time
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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