a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
