We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize