in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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