1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
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