Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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