I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
