I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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