I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
