I feel like abortions should bother me more
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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