Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
