too bad you live with your parents still
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
