At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
