I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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