Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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