Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just pee around me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
