Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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