No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
