Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
