I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
