sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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