u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
