Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
