So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
