i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize