i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
