Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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