That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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