Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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