hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
