I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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