I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
