My sheets look like a crime scene.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
