Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you're hired as official boob wrangler
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
