May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize