I wanna bring you to show and tell
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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