last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize