If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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