She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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