Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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