You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize