Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
