he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
