Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
only if we run a train.
done.
operation harelip BJ is a go
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
