Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Less talking, more tequila
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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