who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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